*Laws that should be formally on the books but sadly are only known in the collective Geek conscious.
Matt Blum of Wired writes, "There are many, many laws having nothing to do with government, that are useful to know because they tell you something about how the universe works. There are Newton’s laws of motion, the laws of thermodynamics, Boyle’s law, Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, among dozens more."
It is unfortunate, Blum says, that there aren’t more widely-accepted axioms to help geeks define the characteristics of our world. For example, if you’ve ever been involved in a discussion on Usenet, or have been following politics in the past decade or so, you’ve probably encountered Godwin's Law, Blum says.
Godwin's Law, also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies, is an Internet adage by Mike Godwin that states, "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1. The term Godwin's law can also refer to the tradition that whoever makes such a comparison is said to 'lose' the debate."
Sounds like we need someone to compile a list of Geek axioms so the rest of the world can play by our rules. And what do you know, to aid in that endeavor, Blum created the following list, which I supplemented with Scientific Blogging and personal tidbits. Post it around your home and office, people - let's start the holiday season off right and take this world over.
1. Munroe's Law: A person in a geeky argument who can quote xkcd to support his position
automatically wins the argument. This law supersedes Godwin, so that even if the quote is about Hitler, the quoter still wins. For a Scientific Blogging example, see here.
2. Lucas' Law: There is no movie so beloved that a "special edition," prequel or sequel cannot trample and forever stain its memory. This law does not apply in the instance of an interactive, audience-participation online project.
3. Tolkien and Rowling's Law: No reasonably faithful movie adaptation of a book will ever be quite as good as the book it adapts. Thus great movie adaptations can only be made out of truly amazing books. Unless the director/screenwriter/producer messes it up.
4. Somers and McCarthy's Law: There is no dangerous unscientific theory so preposterous that no celebrity will espouse and advocate it. Josh has written extensively on this law.
5. Jobs' Law: No matter how well last year’s cool tech gadget still works, it will seem utterly inadequate the moment the new version comes out. Especially if you lock people in to a subpar two-year contract.
6. Savage and Hyneman's Law: Blowing stuff up is fun. Blowing stuff up in the name of science is AWESOME. Mythbusters rules.
7. Starbucks' and Peet's Law: C8H10N4O2, better known as caffeine, is the most wonderful chemical compound known to humankind. If the field of Chemistry had never identified or produced a single other useful compound, caffeine alone would be justification enough for its existence. Unless you drink too much of it.
8. Wilbur's Law: Bacon makes everything better. The only thing that can make bacon better? A flowchart.
9. Comic Book Guy's Law: There is no detail of a movie too brief or inconsequential to become the subject of an hours-long diatribe. I asked CBG about this, but he said, "I have no time to converse with you, I must be first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBane film. The action was dismal and the nudity was frustratingly fleeting. I barely got going."
10. The Unified Geek Theory: At present, the POTUS, the wealthiest person in the U.S., and the most trusted newscaster in the U.S. are all geeks. At the same time, movies based on comic book characters are routinely taking in hundreds of millions of dollars. The only reasonable conclusion is: We’ve won!
Bravo, Matt Blum. Even, dare I say, huzzah for creating this list.
