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By Becky Jungbauer | January 21st 2009 05:02 PM | 2 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
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About Becky Jungbauer

A scientist and journalist by training, I enjoy all things science, especially science-related humor. My column title is a throwback to Jane Austen's famous first line in Pride and Prejudice


... Full Bio

I came across this brilliant and scarily insightful guide to dating geek girls and queried Boyfriend on whether he was aware of said guide. He wasn't, which makes it more amazing that he has succeeded thus far in not breaking any of the set-forth rules. And I haven't made him cry - yet, anyway.

In the comment section I posited Boyfriend's suggestions for a companion guide, Keeping and Landing [the equally hot] Dork Girl, but then thought his years of learned experience should be available for the world to see. Hence a blog posting of my own. But full credit to Cash at Science and Supermodels for the inspiration.

Keeping And Landing A Dork Girl, Version 1.61803399

1. Be a man part 1 - fix things. You may be a dork and enjoy nerdy things but don't break down crying when something needs to be fixed. You are a man and have opposable thumbs for a reason - now use them to lift a screwdriver or hammer once in a while. Just make an effort, she will appreciate it.

Becky says: Agreed. I am quite capable of repairing various household items and even have my own toolbox (and I don't mean my boyfriend, I mean an actual toolbox) but it is nice to have someone else config the dishwasher once in a while.

2. Be a man part 2 - try to be a somewhat masculine. Believe it or not, even dork women like masculine men. Nobody is saying that you have to be a moron gym rat but make an effort to get into some kind of non-oval shape. Walk farther than from the couch to the fridge and lift more than a laptop once in a while. Not reaching for an inhaler after eating will pay off.

Becky says: Two for two. See "Keeping Your Geek Girl" part 2(a) in Cash's article. Just because we are dorks/geeks doesn't mean we don't appreciate a fine hunk of man meat.

3. Just face it - she is probably smarter than you. If she is, deal with it and be lucky enough to have an intelligent and worldly conversation once in a while. Talking about makeup or the latest STD starlet on MTV with a model type airhead chick gets really old really fast, trust me.

Becky says: I will have to ask Boyfriend why he knows so much about this situation.

4. Wear clean, simple clothes. That's it - just clean, simple clothes that fit. Nothing fancy - just jeans and a t shirt will work fine, just not saggy shorts and cartoon t shirts everyday.

Becky says: I can barely match my own clothes, so this is an easy pass. But at least my clothes are clean, so yours better be too.

5. Relax. Try not to hyperventilate and reach for your inhaler when approaching her and just be yourself. If she is truly a dork girl, she will appreciate the cheesy science based pick up line like - "my favorite element is uranium because of U" or star wars - "how about along time starting now, in a bedroom not far, far away?" (Just an fyi - neither of those lines above will probably work but if she smiles and doesn't smack you, you are probably in so don't worry.)

Becky says: sad but true. I am a sucker for science pick-up lines. This suggests (a) some level of IQ above a box of hair, (b) some self-confidence, or at least enough to use science as a come-on. For example: "I'm not being obtuse, but your acute girl." Or ""I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves." Perhaps you could try "Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning.'" Really, the possibilities are approaching an asymptote. (For more assistance, here is a top 10 list.)

That being said, "Keeping Your Geek Girl" and "The Geek Girl Relationship" will work perfectly for any efforts made toward us dork girls. If you don't succeed, don't worry, we'll just make you cry.



Comments

jtwitten's picture
You may be a dork and enjoy nerdy things but don't break down crying when something needs to be fixed.

This is where the difference between geek/dork/nerd gets confusing; but I always thought taking things apart and putting them back together was an essentially geeky/dorky/nerdy.  Are you telling me that Norm Abram is not at least one of the three?

Excellent phi reference, however.

Becky Jungbauer's picture
Luckily they don't charge a phi to read these articles so you can absorb such wisdom. Norm Abram is what we lexical wizards call a nerd.
nerd
- noun,  slang
 1. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

Exhibit A: his shirt.

Exhibit B: he is easily riled by the mundane. I submit the following opener to the 12/25 posting for your consideration: "We are stunned here at The New Yankee Workshop by the interest in the Plantation Shutters."

Exhibit C: He wears a toolbelt in a totally un-ironic way.

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