But you wouldn't know that from reading this article in the Winnipeg Free Press. It's like the definition of irresponsible journalism: repeating rumor as fact, failing to interview experts, and just flat-out making things up.

For example, did you know that "dime-sized suction cups on the tentacles of squid are lined with sharp teeth that leave permanent scars if they contact human skin?" No, you didn't, because it's not true. I've been scratched by these "teeth" countless times, and nope, no scars.

I've already explained why squid probably don't eat humans, so I'll just do a quick play-by-play of the other errors in this article.

Huge shoals of aggressive vicious Humboldt (jumbo) squid have flooded
into the Pacific Ocean off Canada's west coast, ravaging fish stocks
and potentially threatening humans.

(Oh look, they are aggressive AND vicious! Double whammy!)

These large carnivorous
invertebrates, which weigh in excess of 45 kilograms, normally do not
occur north of the Humboldt Current in northern California.

Um. The Humboldt current is off South America, actually. Its northern hemisphere counterpart is the California current.

Duncan, B.C., sportsman Lauren Holman says he has recently encountered
boat-sized squid, some weighing more than 100 kilograms. Sometimes,
larger squid attempt to board fishing vessels.

Boat-size? Maybe a toy boat! The largest Humboldt squid have a 1.2 meter mantle length, or about four feet. As for attempting to board fishing vessels, that's simply absurd. Squid, like anything else with gills, can't survive for very long out of the water. So why would they deliberately climb out?

Holman added that squid are so dangerous that if one is caught and brought aboard a vessel, it is best to kill it immediately as a precaution; otherwise it "wraps its tentacles around your leg and bites with its sharp beak".

Actually, I would like people who catch squid to kill them immediately (if they're planning to keep them) rather than let them die by slow suffocation.

The only sources quoted in the article are the head of the local Salmon Enhancement Society (??) and a guy from a charter boat company. Yeah. No scientists. But wait, I guess they did talk to Fish and Game:

According to the California Department of Fish and Game, Humboldt squid even attack large sharks. Recently, a mako shark was examined and its body was found to have several dozen squid scars.

Sigh. Whales sometimes have squid scars on their skin, too, but does that mean that the squid attacked the whale? No. It means that the squid flailed around wildly while it was going down the whale's gullet. There is no battle. There is just predation. I strongly suspect that any scars found on mako sharks will be due entirely to the same process.

The worst part of the article? The author has a PhD in zoology. He should know better.