POPE BENEDICT XVI (aka Benny Four-Square)

We will not accept the Pope being made the object of mockery and offence, in the media or elsewhere
        - Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, Archbishop of Genoa

Cardinal Bagnasco, if you find mockery of His Holiness so unpalatable, you may want to advise him to stop making free with the stupid.  Oh, yeah, you may also want to stop reading now, because according to The Festival of Idiots management: 

We will not accept the science being made the object of mockery and offence, by religious leaders or elsewhere

As a result, we've decided to let His Papalness jump The Festival queue to gain free and instant admission*. 

Let's be clear from the get-go, The Festival is not in the business of criticizing anyone's moral dogma, including that of the Roman Catholic Church.  Individuals and voluntary groups have a right to their own value judgments, no matter how wrong or ridiculous outsiders might think they are.  They are not, however, entitled to their own scientific knowledge or logic.  For example, we will not be criticizing His Pontifficity for the excommunication of a those who helped a 9-year old Brazilian rape victim terminate the resulting pregnancy, but not the rapist**.  This is a value judgment, not a question of science or logic. 

Fans of The Creative Assembly's Medieval: Total War computer strategy games may know the Pope best as a meddling foreign potentate that whines at you and excommunicates you whenever you kick France's ass.  In the Information Age, the Pope has changed focus, becoming a meddling foreign potentate that undermines efforts to combat the spead of HIV in Africa. 

During his recent trip to Africa, Benny Four-Square spake thusly on the topic of HIV:

 . . .a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be
overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase
the problem. . .
        -Pope Benedict XVI (emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, the CDC, based on scientific evidence, disagrees completely with the last part of this statement:

Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective
in preventing heterosexual sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes
AIDS. Research on the effectiveness of latex condoms in preventing heterosexual
transmission is both comprehensive and conclusive. The ability of latex condoms
to prevent transmission has been scientifically established in laboratory studies
as well as in epidemiologic studies of uninfected persons at very high risk
of infection because they were involved in sexual relationships with HIV-infected
partners. The most recent meta-analysis of epidemiologic studies of condom
effectiveness was published by Weller and Davis in 2004. This analysis refines
and updates their previous report published in 1999. The analysis demonstrates
that the consistent use of latex condoms provides a high degree of protection
against heterosexual transmission of HIV.
        -The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

As does The Lancet:

. . .by saying that condoms exacerbate the problem of HIV/AIDS, the Pope has
publicly distorted scientific evidence to promote Catholic doctrine on
this issue.
        -The Lancet

Had the comments been restricted to the the Catholic Church's position on the relative morality of condom use compared to the utility of condoms in disease prevention there would be no scientific issue.  Had the comments simply reiterated the effectiveness of practicing abstinence in HIV prevention, as opposed to making incorrect factual claims about condom use, His Infalliblness would have not found himself at loggerheads with science and the truth.

It should be noted that condom use
cannot provide absolute protection against HIV. The surest way to avoid transmission
of HIV is to abstain from sexual intercourse or to be in a long-term mutually
monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and you know is
uninfected.
        -The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

For promulgating scientific falsehoods to discourage condom use in a region devastated by the spread of HIV/AIDS from the bully pulpit of, well, the Papal pulpit , The Festival of Idiots is incredibly disappointed to have to welcome Pope Benedict XVI to the fold.

*We were really just waiting for the UN to decide whether insulting the Pope constituted an international crime.  Fortunately for us, the UN decided not to ban "defamation of religion" this week.
**Consider Benny Four-Square's well well-poisoned***.
***Not to be confused with poisson.  Poisson = delicious.  <>Poison = Not so much.