Can we put ass lightning in a title?  Anyway, this is cryptozoology at its best, by which we mean its worst.

A New Zealand journalist (the titular David Farrier of TV3) and a cameraman are have almost made it to Mongolia's Gobi Desert (they are almost there, really, you can follow Farrier on twitter @davidfarrier) where they hope to find and make a documentary about the Mongolian Death Worm!  Bum bum bum!

The Mongolian Death Worm*, or Allghoi Khorkhoi to locals, is a terrifying beast.  It is reputed to be 1.5 meters in length, leap from the ground to ambush its prey, which it kills by spitting acid at them.  Oh yeah, it also shoots lightning long distance from its butt.

David Farrier is interested in the Mongolian Death Worm not only because it is one of the most outrageous cryptids (which it is), but because he thinks it is more likely than other cryptids to actually exist (which it ain't).

According to Farrier:

Rumours could inflate the reputation of things such as the Loch Ness
monster and Bigfoot, but sparsely populated Mongolia was not a place
where rumours were going to propagate, Farrier said.

"If a Mongolian says they have seen a big worm-like creature out in
the desert they haven't really got any reason to lie," he said.

-Paraphrase and quote of David Farrier from heraldsun.com.au

But, he doesn't think it is actually a worm, because that would just be silly:

I think it won't be a worm, obviously a worm can't survive in a desert.
I'd say it would be some sort of snake that's not meant to be there.
It's very out of place and a bit new.
-David Farrier at heraldsun.com.au

Ah, yes, because the only thing implausible about the Mongolian Death Worm is that worm's don't live in deserts.  A giant worm spitting man-killing acid and shooting lightning bolts from its "John Brown hindparts" in a tropical environment would be completely plausible. 

It is is a common bit of stupid on the fanatical part of the cryptozoology community to assume that human perception of events is quite good and that the only reason for a person's testimony to not square with reality is that they have lied. 

What if, and we are just saying what if, here.  Don't want to take down the whole judicial system by questioning the reliability of eye witnesses.  What if the Mongolian Death Worm is simply a mythological expression of a human perception of events?  Perhaps to explain the victim of a lightning strike?  Lightning from afar?  Check.  Burnt badly?  Check check.  Sudden strike from the ground?  Check check check (look into how lightning strikes usually happen, if you doubt).

What about the morphology?  Well the name Allghoi Khorkhoi apparently translates as "intestine worm", because the worm supposedly looks like an intestine. 

Hmmm, exactly the same size and shape as the worm.  Coincidence?

Of course, lightning from assless clouds and charred, eviscerated remains don't make for good stories.  Actually, they might. . .

Did we mention that Farrier hopes to draw this worm-o-death to the surface by setting off explosives?  Nothing could go wrong with this plan.

After all that, the Darwinian element in us still hopes that you find one, David.  An angry one.  Really, we  really do.

For blowing up pieces of Mongolia on a quest that makes Bigfoot enthusiasts look reasonable, we are happy to welcome David Farrier to The Festival of Idiots. 

*Who else thinks this thing looks like Shai-Hulud, the sandworm from Dune?
NB: Apologies as an in process draft of this was published for about 30 seconds earlier due to a failure of multi-tasking.