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By Justin Gerke | December 17th 2008 04:40 PM | 39 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
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About Justin Gerke

Welcome to "Redneck Genetics," where I share my thoughts on genetics, evolution, the biology of turkey hunting and other important life-issues.

I'm a German-Catholic born and raised


... Full Bio

The astronomy/physics sector of the internets is all abuzz about Dark Energy.

It was originally thought that gravity would slow the expansion of the universe as huge astronomical bodies become attracted to each other and pull together like Sumo wrestlers trying to share a waterbed.  That has not happened.  Instead, the universe is expanding, and doing so at an increasing rate.  Dark Energy is the general repulsive force that is kicking gravity's butt and driving the expansion of the universe.

The fact that it is called "Dark" Energy pretty much sums up how much we know about it.  What's troubling about this lack of knowledge is that Dark Energy makes up about three-fourths of the known universe:

 
Figure courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

The main reason I find this troubling is because if  Dark Energy is growing, then the Universe will keep expanding at a faster rate.  Eventually everything in existence, including myself, will be pulled apart and destroyed by Dark Energy.   Fortunately, researchers observing both optical and X-ray wavelengths have shown that Dark Energy is not increasing greatly over time, but more or less remains constant.

This is indeed important for the future of the universe.  Even more important is the publicity focused on  my cousin at Stanford, Brian Gerke, who was the first member of the family to get a PhD and a researcher in this area of astrophysics :
 http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/39341/title/Dark_energy_constantly_with_us

There are somewhere between twenty and thirty Gerke cousins.  Before long, we will have enough PhD's to take over the world...or at least Missouri.

Note:  This piece was written in consultation with my sister Jill, a PhD student in astrophysics at The Ohio State University.  She emphatically tells me that Dark Energy should not be definitively called either a force or a substance, because we just don't understand it.  Hopefully I have worded this article carefully enough not to anger her or any other real physicists. 

Comments

Hank's picture
Wait, this is no laughing matter.   At your current expansion rate into PhD territory we could be talking about a Gerke PhD population explosion of 'Elvis impersonators' magnitude.




Hockey sticks do not lie, people.

you called it a force. I told you not to call it a force. ::shakes head in exasperation::
Do not be troubled by dark energy and the possibility of the "big rip". You, your children, your children's children etc will be long gone by then. I'll give you something to be troubled by! ...you know, like getting hit by an meteorite, a nearby supernova, stuff like that, stuff that is much more likely and immediate:) Beside, the most terrifying thing about the possibility of increasing dark energy is how boring astronomy will be when we can't see any of the other galaxies. That is the real tragedy.

Hank's picture
you called it a force. I told you not to call it a force. ::shakes head in exasperation::

It could have been worse.  He could have said he was going to make "the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."

jgerke's picture
What is a parsec anyway?

jgerke's picture
take note that "the awesomer" is 'not verified'

Stellare's picture
The Girl Gerke must be The Awesomer - by definition. Sorry, nothing you can do about that, boys. :-)

Stellare's picture
Why do people ignore the Massive Meteorite Menace? It beats me. :-P

Hank's picture
I can't believe more people aren't laughing at my hockey stick chart.   That took me, like, 8 seconds to create.   We need funnier scientists here.

jgerke's picture
Actually, I cracked up when I saw that.  Mike and Josh are giving me crap about it as we speak :)

adaptivecomplexity's picture
That's the problem with having three of us in close proximity. We can give each other crap without doing it in public.

I liked the hockey stick too. also, major Nerd Points for mentioning parsecs within a starwars reference. Such feats are not for the faint of heart.

justin, it's ok, everyone already knows i am way awesomer. acceptance is a beautiful thing.
Parsecs are what us awesome scientists use to measure distance, lightyears are for pansys.

to see the Meteorite Menace yourself, go here: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap081125.html

Becky Jungbauer's picture
Huge bonus points for noting the Kessel Run. (Even better: check out this gadget blog that also references the "bucket of bolts" - which did, Ms. Smarty Pants Princess Leia, get past that star destroyer.)

A parsec is the parallax of one arcsecond, also known as a unite of astronomical length based on the sitanced from Earth at which stellar parallax is one second of arc. Also equivalent to 3.262 light years. Or 3.08568025 x 1016 meters.

My review of the hockey stick graphic, which granted is totally awesome, will depend on the manufacturer. Bauer? Easton? Someone else?

Becky Jungbauer's picture
Which reminds me - why was Han in such a rush to get the to spice mines on Kessel? I can't imagine the local Coruscant corner market wouldn't have a spice rack to fill his needs.

jtwitten's picture
Obviously, you have not explored the licensed, but non-George Lucas-binding world of Star Wars novels.

1. Kessel spice is like Dune spice (lifted without attribution), its a narcotic
2. Getting to Kessel involves navigating a field of black holes or going way, way, way around
3. Because one is weaving through a field of black holes trying to devour the Millenium Falcon, traveling a small distance or, essentially, a straighter line ("only 12 parsecs") indicates that one is traveling very fast. 
4. General relativity makes the ability to time one's travel difficult due to time dilation effects near the black hole.

I'm sure this is what Lucas was thinking when he wrote the script.

Becky Jungbauer's picture
Ah. My knowledge is now complete. And I had no idea it was lacking. I only knew of the George Lucas-sanctioned Robot Chicken episodes and a few random Star Wars novels (presumably Lucas-approved but not related).

jtwitten's picture
Marketing genius that he is.  Lucas licensed many book series, all paying him royalties, I'm sure.  Once he decided to make more movies/shows, he blithely declared his creative genius would not be constrained by anything any of those books said.  As a result, most of the fiction has focused on time after Return of the Jedi, since Lucas, at the moment, claims he won't make the sequel-trilogy.

Explanation of the wonderment of Kessel spice.

See the entry for Kessel for support of my independently derived theory.

I did not have time to accrue "evidence" earlier.

I am a font of trivial knowledge.

Hank's picture
Nick Matzke (commenting on Facebook) doesn't think we're as cool as we do.

"Hank -- I'm nerdy, I admit it, but if there is anything nerdier than watching SW, it's criticizing the scientific inaccuracies in science fiction, and if there is anything nerdier than that, it's doing that for a line from 30 years ago!!"

When Berkeley grad students think we're too dorky, that really means something.   I think that's awesome.   


Becky Jungbauer's picture
Criticizing our nerdy criticisms is pretty dorky in itself! I for one am proud that I own periodic table socks,  placemats, mug and t-shirts. So bring it on, accusations of dorkiness!

jtwitten's picture
You can fit the whole periodic table on your socks?  You must have big feet.

Hank's picture
What you need are ScientificBlogging mugs, t-shirts and socks!   But don't buy them.   Next time I do an order, you're in.  

I am not sure about the socks, though.  I have never seen socks.   If they had socks, I think I would own some.  I own everything else.   Hats,sweatshirts,mugs (2 sizes) , drink coasters,pens.   A CLOCK.   Yeah, we got it all.

Except socks.  I think.

jgerke's picture
Got anything in camo?  ;)

Becky Jungbauer's picture
I'm totally in. Not only is it free advertising for the site, but further confirmation to all who know me that I cannot possibly get any nerdier.

jtwitten's picture
Let me know when you come out with Scientific Blogging the Flamethrower.

Hank's picture
So we have a request for scientificblogging camos, a scientificblogging flamethrower, and I have had this Sauer Supreme 7mm Scientific Blogging Special on my Christmas list since 2006.   



I think if there's ever a fight with any of those other science blogs sites out there, we are kicking some butt.

jgerke's picture
Have you seen this periodic table?  It's awesomer.

Hank's picture
Wow, they know me so well it's downright creepy.

Becky Jungbauer's picture

There are very few times in my life where I have been rendered speechless. This is one of them. I am in shock and awe of this periodic table. (I thought it was going to be the beeriodic table, of which I own a poster, but no, it was of equivalent awesomeness. You have rocked my world.)



jtwitten's picture
Congratulations, Justin, you finally rocked a girl's world.  How does it feel to be a man?

jtwitten's picture
But, does defending the scientific inaccuracies make me more or less nerdy?

Hank's picture
But, does defending the scientific inaccuracies make me more or less nerdy?

Absolutely!

Hank's picture
I'm sure this is what Lucas was thinking when he wrote the script.

He is just that smart.   Of course, this is like a physicist coming up to you and asking why there's no fossil for a human eye.

jtwitten's picture
Hank, I believe your reply,
this is like a physicist coming up to you and asking why there's no fossil for a human eye.

is like a physicist coming up to you and asking why there's no fossil for a human eye.

Stellare's picture
It is definitely a [Jung]Bauer hockey stick. The hockey graph is awesome, Hank!! And I'm sure you made the ultimate quality selection among the best of the best hockey gear and ended up with a Bauer. I have Bauer skates. They ARE the best.  The Young Bauer would have to agree, I'm sure. .-)

Becky Jungbauer's picture
Ah, Bente - I bow down. You are my new favorite person in the world. And yes, I certainly agree, being the proud owner of a pair of Bauer skates myself!

A minor correction: I do believe that Clarice was Dr. Gerke slightly before I was, unless I misremember. Since hers was in psychology, she's been quietly convincing you all, via mind control, that this profusion of Gerke Ph.D.s is an acceptable state of affairs. Hank Campbell appears to be unusually resistant to this, but I believe time is on our side.

BFG

Don't forget about the strong population of Gerke engineers; I'm too lazy to count them but there are plenty. By definition we are far to practical, accept in the case of Tim the anomaly, to pursue PhD status but this will prove valuable for the cause. As we toil away in the working world we are gaining valuable experience to better serve as Betas in the new world (or at minimum the new Missouri).

-Clif

Dark Energy, I dont think so; How`s this ?
11 sky divers jump out of a plane at equal intervals.
I am the 6th to jump. (jumper 6 ) and 6 more then follow me...
As I look down, I see , jumper 1 speeding away from jumper 2 speeding away from jumper 3 etc etc
As I look up I notice that I am speeding away from jumper 7 who is speeding away from me and
jumper 8 who is speeding away from me and jumper 8 etc etc.
Looking down again, I see that Jumper 1 is speeding away from me fastest, and when I look up
I notice that I am speeding away from jumper 11 fastest.. So which ever jumper observes the other jumpers, the farthest away, is always moving away the fastest.

The Universe is falling,, and it has bounced, and must have slowed down, then stopped, before
it began to fall , to account for the anomaly, that the most distance Galaxies are moving away fastest.. Your guess as to where to, is as good as mine ?

Kevin Wilson

Redshift much?

Oh , Line 3 I mean 5 more follow me . KW

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