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By Laura Hult | September 19th 2009 10:43 PM | 6 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
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More PTSD - Navigating the Mindfield articles

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About Laura Hult

As a paramedic working for many years in the Chicago metropolitan area, I witnessed firsthand the devastating and lasting effects of trauma not only on victims, but also on their families and medical... Full Bio

These are uncertain and often frightening times for many people.  While none of my clients have thus far suffered any major emotional setbacks, the holidays are quickly approaching and I expect to see more depression and anxiety.  Since money is very tight and many have lost their homes and/or jobs, while others now have extended family living with them, this holiday season will be more of a challenge than most of us are comfortable dealing with.


How will you cope with the upcoming season?


Here are a few tips to inspire further thought and planning:


  • Make a budget and stick to it - Do it now while we are still a ways from the actual season and you are not unduly influenced by commercials, store displays, or just plain guilt.



  • Be realistic - Everyone is struggling to one extent or another. Don't fret about buying little Johnny that super-expensive toy he's been wanting, because few parents will be able to do so this season. Instead, why not build some memories together? Craft stores have nifty little dioramas, solar system mobiles, snap-together models, doll making supplies, etc. Chances are, the kids will remember these activities a lot longer than they will who gave them the X-Box.



  • Plan your menus - Scour grocery ads for sales, and become a coupon clipper. A nice roast or turkey on sale this week will rest comfortably in your freezer until needed.



  • Be honest - Let your family and loved ones know how you are feeling, including the kids. Children are a lot tougher and wiser than we often give them credit for, and really deserve to be included in family concerns. Just don't lean on them for support. Let the kids know that by working together, everyone will have a good holiday.



  • Drink less alcohol, get exercise, and spend some time in the sunlight - Even short walks in the neighborhood will give you a fresh perspective, improve your mood, and maybe even introduce you to the new people who moved in this past Spring (and are likely going through similar problems).



  • If you can, squirrel a little cash away for emergencies - Like the roast that got burned. Grocery stores often have pre-cooked turkeys and chickens, and while sometimes a little pricey, they can help overcome a cooking disaster.

Most of all, take time for you.  Re-discover simpler pleasures like reading a good book, taking a bubble bath, or star gazing.  Realizing that we are all in pretty much the same boat, will help mitigate some of the Holiday Blues. 






Comments

Jeff Sherry's picture
All excellent realistic advice Laura...tho' I'd feel funny taking a bubble bath. 

LauraHult's picture
Mr. Bubble!  Shhhh...I won't tell anyone.  ;)

There are some quite masculine bath salts to be found.  WalMart has a good selection and they're not very expensive.

Jeff Sherry's picture
...well... maybe, ahem...Mr. Harley's leather and chrome suds bath. The Mr. Bubble reference gave me a great laugh.

LauraHult's picture
Mr. Harley's leather and chrome suds bath

Hey, whatever it takes.  ;)

Seriously though, the point is to create an environment where you can be as comfortable and satisfied in your own skin as possible regardless of what life and the world throws at you. 

I'm sure you are well aware of the following, but others are not:

Propaganda from advertisers, media, shop keepers, even the government is designed for their agendas - not ours.  The whole concept of advertising is to create a *need* where one did not exist before.  From this springs a generalized dissatisfaction with what we have and where we live, even extending to our perceptions of our careers and who we are.

Happiness becomes externally driven, instead of internally generated.

The suggestions posted above may seem rudimentary and obvious, but actually are designed to shift the focus away from external influences.  Freedom isn't easy to obtain, but by learning to distinguish between a want and a need, we are well on our way.

Gerhard Adam's picture
Be Honest

Great advice, but let me add just a bit more to this.

1.  Don't let yourself get pressured by myths and propaganda about how you "should" behave to be a responsible adult.  Being late with a payment doesn't make you a deadbeat. 

If you're in serious financial trouble and apt to lose something that is important (i.e. house, car, etc.).  While you may feel bad, try to separate the event from your identity.

Often we are made to feel guilty by businesses with no greater objective than they just want to collect their money.  They make you feel bad, or irresponsible, or like a loser.

Do not let yourself be labeled or defined by someone else's objectives.  No matter how bad things ever get, they will always change.  Maybe they can get worse, but usually they'll eventually improve.  Use every opportunity to learn about yourself, but don't let yourself be manipulated into taking on the stress and guilt of some materialistic agenda.  In the end, it's only stuff and none of it's worth dying over.


LauraHult's picture
Don't let yourself get pressured by myths and propaganda about how you "should" behave to be a responsible adult.  Being late with a payment doesn't make you a deadbeat. 

If you're in serious financial trouble and apt to lose something that is important (i.e. house, car, etc.).  While you may feel bad, try to separate the event from your identity.

Often we are made to feel guilty by businesses with no greater objective than they just want to collect their money.  They make you feel bad, or irresponsible, or like a loser.

Do not let yourself be labeled or defined by someone else's objectives.  No matter how bad things ever get, they will always change.  Maybe they can get worse, but usually they'll eventually improve.  Use every opportunity to learn about yourself, but don't let yourself be manipulated into taking on the stress and guilt of some materialistic agenda.  In the end, it's only stuff and none of it's worth dying over.

Excellent suggestions, Gerhard.  Financial woes are most often created by the very people who want our money.  They advertise, and we respond like Pavlov's dogs.  It's time to break the cycle.

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